hmmm.. what can i say

wheww... i'm starting to get tired of my everyday life.. the same routines everyday.. it sucks.. i think i'm going down on my scores in college.. i need refreshing now.. trying to find out something new.. i wanna get away from the reality, but that's not an option for me.. i don't understand how i feel now.. i feel like i'm hoping too much for everything in my life... maybe i can't get more than this.. but still.. i want to move on my path.. err.. the only thin that's been bothering me is Her.. up to this day.. i still don't know why.. i mean.. what's so special about me?? i'm just a normal boy.. i'm not that handsome.. i'm not that good.. i'm not that kind.. i'm not that special.. am i seem superhuman?? i think not.. err... it's been bothering me.. all night.. when she called me.. i just don't know what else to do.. i'm fucked.. maybe it's because i'm getting too empathic toward others..
phew.. this is screwing me up.. i wanna fly.. someone.. please help.. take away my pain.. if it can be an angel, i'd be grateful.. but if it's a devil, then i'll try to bear with it..

counting the very last minutes of my year!!

Woo hooo.... it's about time now.. on less than one hour, i'm turning 20!!
hmm.. let's see.. dear me a year from now, for the past one year, many things changed and influenced the way i judge and behave.. whew.. it's strange how a year just easily pass me by without i even notice.. hahaha..
welll.. i hope i'm able to do my best for my self in the future!! god bless you always rudayyy!!!!

phew

ga ngerti knapa.. tapi knapa tmen2 gua banyak yg bermasalah sama pasangan ya akhir2 ini..?? apa ini semacam kebetulan yang tak terhindarkan atau campur tangan dari hal hal gaib?? soalnya yaa pas ajah gtu.. berbarengan masalahnya.. oh Tuhan.. berikanlah kekuatan kepada teman2ku yang kusayangi ini.. huehuehue.. :p but it's kinda sad to see them in this kinda state... i've felt it before.. it sucks.. and all i can do right now is listen and listen and listen to their problems.. well.. it's the least i can to.. get well soon friends!

phew.. time flies by..

wew... it's been a while since i wrote sumthin like this.. haha.. wow.. today is just another ordinary day.. with nothing special.. still alone in my room playin the piano.. hitting my drums.. just as usual.. but can you imagine? i'll be 20 on less than the next two week.. geezz.. i thought i'm still a teenagers.. well.. it's time to face the truth.. wkwkwkw.. :D i'm getting old.. i wonder what will it be when i'm 40..? will i ever reach 40?? or maybe i'll die before i'm 40.. hehehee.. will i meet god? if god do exist, will he judge me good or wrong? will i go to heaven or hell?? haha.. too many questions but no answers.. guess i'm just circling around the same question each day.. hoho.. i'll find out when i die.. for now, let's just be AUTIS!!! :p~~~~

errr

tes tes satu dua??
iseng kok :p